Essay

It’s Okay to Not Love Being Pregnant

by Cassandra Delage, Founder and CEO

Reviewed by Valerie Pelletier, Birthworker, Doula

Published June 8, 2024 — Last Reviewed March 22, 2024

  • Full Article

  • Contributors

  • References

Excerpt

Let’s be real. Pregnancy is often portrayed as this magical time filled with rainbows, butterflies, and endless glowing smiles. Pregnancy can be tough. It can be exhausting, uncomfortable, and downright challenging. And you know what? That's perfectly normal.

Introduction

Embarking on the journey of pregnancy is akin to traversing a rugged terrain fraught with obstacles and uncertainties. While the anticipation of new life brings joy and excitement, the reality of pregnancy entails a complex interplay of physiological changes, emotional upheavals, and socio-cultural pressures.

"You see, every pregnancy is different, and everybody’s experience of it is unique. For some, pregnancy is a time of joy and connection. For others, it's a roller coaster of emotions, complete with highs, lows, and everything in between.”

— Valerie Pelletier, Birthworker, Doula

Physiological Challenges

From the moment of conception, the female body undergoes a series of profound transformations to nurture and sustain the developing fetus. Hormonal fluctuations, morning sickness, fatigue, and physical discomfort become constant companions, reminding expectant mothers of the arduous path ahead. Research indicates that up to 80% of pregnant individuals experience some form of nausea and vomiting during pregnancy, significantly impacting their quality of life and daily functioning [1].

Emotional Struggles

The emotional landscape of pregnancy is marked by a rollercoaster of feelings, ranging from euphoria and excitement to anxiety and apprehension. Hormonal fluctuations, coupled with the anticipation of parenthood and concerns about childbirth, contribute to heightened emotional vulnerability. Studies have shown that up to 20% of pregnant individuals experience symptoms of depression or anxiety during pregnancy, highlighting the need for comprehensive mental health support [2].

"If you're not feeling that pregnancy glow, if you're struggling to embrace the changes happening in your body, know that you're not alone. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or even a little resentful at times. Your feelings are valid, and they deserve to be acknowledged.”

— Valerie Pelletier, Birthworker, Doula

Social Pressures and Stigma

In addition to physiological and emotional challenges, pregnant individuals often contend with societal expectations, stereotypes, and stigma surrounding pregnancy and motherhood. Body shaming, judgmental comments, and intrusive inquiries about pregnancy choices can exacerbate feelings of vulnerability and insecurity. Research underscores the pervasive impact of social stigma on maternal mental health, emphasizing the importance of fostering supportive and inclusive communities [3].

"Take a deep breath and know that you're doing an amazing job, even on the days when it feels like you're barely holding it together. You've got this, and you're not alone.”

— Valerie Pelletier, Birthworker, Doula

Navigating the Journey

Despite the myriad challenges posed by pregnancy, resilience and support are fundamental pillars that empower expectant mothers to navigate this transformative journey. Comprehensive prenatal care, access to evidence-based information, and social support networks play pivotal roles in mitigating hardships and promoting maternal well-being. By acknowledging the complexities of pregnancy and fostering empathy and understanding, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for pregnant individuals.

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References to the research cited in this article can be found in the "References" tab at the top of this page.

Contributors

Author(s)

Cassandra Delage

Founder and CEO of Bia

Reviewer(s)

Valerie Pelletier

Nonclinical birth worker, Doula

References

Bia follows strict article guidelines and only uses credible sources, such as peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions and highly respected health organizations. In addition, when necessary, each article is reviewed by a member of our healthcare community to further ensure up-to-date information.

[1] Lacasse, A., & Rey, E. (2014). Ferility and Sterility. Incidence of nausea and vomiting of pregnancy in the USA. Fertility and Sterility, 101(5), 1275-1281.

[2] Field, T., Diego, M., Hernandez-Reif, M., Figueiredo, B., Schanberg, S., & Kuhn, C. (2007). Pregnancy anxiety and comorbid depression and anger: Effects on the fetus and neonate. Depression and Anxiety, 25(3), 260-267.

[3] Hetherington, E., McDonald, S., Williamson, T., & Tough, S. (2015). Social support and maternal mental health at 4 months and 1 year postpartum: Analysis from the All Our Families cohort. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, 69(4), 8-9.

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